University of Virginia Library

SECTION I.

The Old Couple.

On the north eastern extremity of the island of Manahadoes,
or New-York, lies a small track of flatland backed
by a hilly country, and bordered by a narrow river, which
seems to have taken its rise from the rapid current of the
sound, flowing between the two shallow channels formed
by the shores of the lesser Barn islands and the mainland.
On this level spot, tradition[1] relates that the gallant Hendrick

Hudson, on his second expedition to the mighty waters
that now bear his name, in the year sixteen hundred
and ten, by order of the Dutch East India Company, in
whose service he sailed, landed and marked out the plan
of a small settlement, which, in honour to a favourite officer
of the Half Moon, (which was the name of the stout
and gallant bark in which the discoverer voyaged) who
had derived his birth in the famous town of Harlæm in the
Low Countries, he called after that place; it was not long,
however, before the disadvantage of forming the colony in
this spot was experienced by the adventurers, who, though
they at that early period could scarcely be supposed to
have dreamt of the gigantic city and immense commerce
which was to spring from the desert and desolate
strand, whereon the roving spirit of enterprize, and the
daring cupidity for wealth and possession, had induced
them to cope with the “wild salvage” in his wilderness,
and the piercing arrows of the northern frost; yet they
soon found great inconvenience from the lowness of the
water that formed their haven, for the larger supply ships
which in the season following their first embarkation, arrived
from Holland, were not able to be brought to the
landing beneath the small palisade which had been erected
to preserve the colonists from the irruptions of the
fierce Maquaas, as the Indian nation who held their hunting
grounds adjacent, were termed: it became therefore, absolutely
necessary for the company's agent to select a new
site for building the intended capital of the stadholder's
dominions in the western world, which should possess a
harbour for receiving and preserving, during the rigours of
the winter, the vessels freighted with stores and other
necessaries for the hardy settlers. The Dutchman is ever
constitutionally slow at motion;—it was, therefore, with
many sighs for the favourite spot they were leaving,
which, with its low marshy plain and beautiful prospect of
water, so much reminded them of the dykes and the
blooming fields of the Hague, that the adventurers removed
to the south-western point of the island, which, projecting
in a spacious bay formed by the confluence of the
Hudson river and the streight or oost vloed[3] between the
Long Island and the northern shore, afforded them every
convenience for a noble haven. They here laid the foundation
of a fort, which was called Amsterdam—and erected
a few log huts: in a short period, however, these hardy
Netherlanders, being undisturbed by the native owners of
the soil, the warlike tribes of savages who dwelt near
them, conquered the stubborn difficulties that nature had
cast in their path of labour. As the new village grew,
the old one decayed; and in a little time, Harlæm had
nearly resumed the appearance of its nativity, ere the arrival
of the fearless navigator and his crew. No voice
broke the gloomy solemnity of neglect that enveloped it;
the sharp hiss of the rattlesnake, and the baying of the
brindled wolf, reigned once more, where so lately, yet for
so short a time, the echoes of civilized life had usurped
the long scream of the monarch eagle as he sailed through
the earth-shadowing clouds towards his mountain throne,
amid the lofty solitude of the towering Kaatskill, stole
on the sleep of midnight that lay upon this scarce trodden
strand; its airy reverberations unbroken by the startling
shout of the hunter, or the shot of the arquebuse: the
mullien stalk and the dock weed grew in the pathways,
while the green and slender creeper climbed up the walls
of the crumbling blockhouse, and the wild sumach shook
its scarlet berries to the wind, where the bright standard
of their high mightinesses the states-general, had first
been unfurled, and floated in the breezes of the new continent.

Years stole away, and glided in the mass of time: the
new city prospered: governors came from the mother
country gifted with powers to reward the deserving, and
to give laws to the new found province: commerce with
the neighbouring settlements of England and Sweden,
opened doors of wealth to the growing colony, which,
like a blooming and healthful child upon its mother's bosom,
glowed with gathering strength and happiness: the
dark and mocassined forester brought his richest furs,
and the fragrant spices of the western Indias found their
way to the rocky banks of the lordly Hudson: the smooth
hand of agriculture and unceasing industry, soon changed
the giant mountain to the smiling garden: the brown and
antlered deer tossed up his head, and springing from his
leafy covert, fled before the face of the European: the
harsh whoop of the Indian, was more seldom heard from
the pinnacle of the spiring crag, or the howl of the fierce
and bloody panther, from the dark pine forest: where the
herds of roaming buffalo had grazed, the jocund harvest
laughed: the white sails of the schuit, like light clouds
upon the bosom of the waters, were now seen daily hovering
o'er the broad expanse of the river of Mountains[4] to
the Taappan Zee, where heretofore none but the bark
pirogue had glided: the mirrored sheet of wave, whose
glass had alone reflected the savage features of the Mohiccan,[5]
and the dancing feathers that adorned his head

as he leaned from his canoe in its birdlike course, now
gave back the floating mantle of the foreigner, and the
flaunting bandrols of a distant nation: honesty, unshaking
virtue and truth, (how different from our times!)
characterised the low country emigrants and their immediate
posterity: they therefore (although the fortune
of these qualities are now reversed, being all three in
miserable bad repute) prospered, and their city spread; by
degrees the black mud hovel and the rough log hut disappeared,
and the brown and glazed tile, and the small
yellow brick, imported from the Vaderlandt,[6] took their
place, and glistened beneath the joyous rays of the golden
sun in Nieuw Amsterdam.

The evident prosperity of the new territory of the
United Provinces, however, unfortunately for that power,
opened the eyes of desire and envy to their European
neighbours, the English; large bodies of whom flying
from the iron hand of persecution, that religious intolerance
had stretched over them in their native country,
had sought the freedom of worship in the boundless deserts
of America; where, forgetful of the misfortunes and
the oppression they had suffered in their own land, (such
is the ungrateful nature of man) as their strength of
population increased, with unheard of cruelties, with fire
and sword, with murder and torture, they wrested the
country from the Indian, who in the hour of their mourning
and distress, who in the bitterness of their exile, had
granted them a refuge and a home; who, when they
could have overpowered and massacred them to a man,
as easy as one might destroy a viper in its egg, held forth
the hand of peace to the destitute, and smoked the calumet
of amity with the stranger;—and the distressed were
succoured, and rested secure among the children of the
wilderness, unharmed by the red tomahawk of war—
when in the country of civilization, they met not the
grasp of brotherhood, but the axe of death and the embrace
of the loathsome prison house; they built their

altar on the wild shore, and its incense rose free as the
untrammelled elements: they planted their feet upon a
foreign strand which clung to their steps in friendship,
receiving them in its bosom like a parent doth its weeping
offspring:—and these men thus received, were the
venom darting snakes that hid amidst the verdant and
beautiful grass of the savanna, whose treacherous poison
concealed within the surrounding loveliness, is the first to
spread its death to the deceived and trusting traveller:
for, unmindful of the vast benefits bestowed in their hour
of nakedness, no sooner were they grown to strength,
than that country in which they were but guests, they
claimed as theirs by right: that spot on which they were
by sufferance, they haughtily deemed as owning by chartered
dominion: the parchment deed of a monarch whose
empire was divided from it by a world, the deep and
turblous ocean, had given a title to the soil that his predecessor
knew not existed in creation—placing their fellow
men merely because art had given a superiority that virtue
wanted, upon the footing of the wild animals of the
woods:—they hunted the red Indian from his home—tore
up the olive stalk that he had planted—drove him from
his cedar wigwam, until at last, treachery, aided by the
deadly inventions of what is termed civilization, left him
not a rood of the land of his fathers; but like the birds,
driven by the approaching winter, he sought another climate
and peace beyond the great lakes; so that in a few
years, throughout the vast country of New England, all
that remained of the wielders of the bow, was here and
there a green and flowery mound, within whose silent bosom
mouldered the skeleton of some warrior, who, happier
than his living brethren, crumbled to dust in the land
of his birth, though his chichung[7] had gone southward to
the unknown paradise, where, never weary of the hunt,
the feast, and the dance, it sported in the shadowy revels
of its fellow heroes. With such lovers of encroachment,
and men so greedy of possession, it was not to be supposed
that the unoffending Netherlanders would remain
long undisturbed—no sooner did the wily puritan become
aware of his power, and see the weakness and the good
nature with which the Hollander bore his approaches, than
no barrier of existing peace, no legal right of boundary,
stopped his covetous advances; that selfish avarice that
lusts after the fruits which the toils of another hath matured,
was awakened, and little by little, by overreaching
cunning and dastard subtlety, was the country snatched
from its first settlers, until at last the mask being entirely
thrown off, the whole territory held by the Dutch, was
seized on by the English crown.

The inhabitants of Nova Belgia had all the peaceable
and substantial qualities, that characterized their merchant
ancestors; the scion, though engrafted in another
soil, showed all the solid virtue of the parent stock—neither
had a climate of increased cold, nor the necessary
bustle attending the settlement of a new country, added
ought to their constitutional activity: their standing
maxim was still the same—that all matters must take
their required time—for that which is finished hastily, is
sure to be executed indifferently;—No! things were not
done in our hurried flimsy way—few men built their
houses in a week, as is proved by the stout dutch walls,
that give our modern improvers of building such trouble
to demolish—however, a frequent breasting of the cold
northern storm, and the cutting winds, which gathered in
their rushing flight strength from the tops of the snowy
mountains, and the ice prisoned lagoons, may have given
to their native phlegm, a testiness of temper and irascibility
in little matters, that is seldom enjoyed by their
fellow traders of the Scheldt,—for in his contests with
the tempest, the New Amsterdamer had acquired a necessary
length of breath or wind, that was aroused on the
slightest occasion, by a helping activity of tongue:—and this
propensity hath descended to this æra in a most admirable
degree—for it is now the mode, as well as then, to
make a great noise about nothing, and to take no notice

of concerns of moment; and indeed from this cause, it may
be that all public undertakings are begun by talking, and
therefore are accustomed to end in smoke: from hence
it is not to be wondered at, that after quietly submitting
to the change, the placable burghers of Nieuw Nederland
remained, with slight variation, in passive subjection
to their new masters. It is true, there might have been
a noisy meddlesome fellow, who was out at the elbows,
and had a hungry eye for preferment, who, like the office
hunter at an election, blustered himself into a passion,
and strived to kick up a dust among peaceable people by
alarming them with a cry that “the nation would be
ruined”—but as his wind was always spent, and his breath
shortened, as his own private object was attained, and it
was found that bread was not dearer, or stock[8] fallen, so
they deemed it prudent to bear the yoke in patience—
they enjoyed the liberty of their native religion, and held
rights of citizenship on an equality with their conquerors:—it
differed in truth, but little to Mienheer, at least in
appearance, if he could sit in the summer's sun, and puff
the swelling cloud from his nose, that gathered from his
long `pyp,' drink his `zoopje,' and see his Holland pinks
and bloemates flourish, whether he obeyed the laws of
`My lords, the High and mighty states-general,'[9] and the
Dutch East India Company, or the arbitrary edicts enacted
at Hempstead, by the deputies of the Duke of York[10]
—And it was not until the country had been many
years in the possession of the English at the opening
of this narration, that the seeds of disaffection took root
against the existing power—and doubtless many of those
dreadful convulsions that soon followed and shook the
province of New-York, (as it was now called) in 1689,
in favour of the Prince of Orange, who was then aiming
to ascend the throne of his father-in-law, the weak and
bigoted James the Second, of England, may be in part
attributed to the popish measures, and high hand used
by Sir Edmond Andross, who, about thirty years before
the revolution in favour of William the Third, was
commissioned as governor of King James' (then Duke of
York) patent in America and is related by history to
have been a man perfectly devoted to the arbitrary views
of his tyrannical and misguided sovereign—so much so,
as to have drawn down upon him the universal odium
and hatred of the people he governed. It was not, however,
until the spring of the year above named, that the
coals of discontent, which had every where been strewn
throughout the wide extent of colony, burst in a flame;
for finding the toleration of his religion, the shrines at
which his fathers had knelt, threatened, the Dutchman
roused him from his torpidity, and joined with the English
follower of Calvin, to withstand the encroachments
of the Church of Rome, and the overbearing arrogance of
their papist rulers. However, even at this early period,
New-York was tainted with some of the corruption and
selfishness, that hath ever been its leading traits—there
were then also, as now, men who were of that careful principle
to know which was the strongest, and the party most
likely to conquer, before they made their choice or espousal—no
matter whether the cause was just or holy—
that hath ever been a minor consideration—and as there
hath since been, men were not wanting who carried their
consciences in their pocket, and were ever ready to
change sides as it suited their own private interest; that
province, therefore, was not the first which roused and
turned the bold face of resistance to the advancing oppressor,
but for awhile stood apart as though weighing
its gain or loss in the opening contest—while the free
spirit which the New Englander appears to have imbibed
from his birth, like a thing breathed for the vital air of
life, and the detestation which he seems to have ever
alike felt for any encroachment on the liberty of man,
here breathed itself forth; and like the field fire, caught
and spread in every place where it could find entrance—
from the halls of the rich, to the naked and smoky caverns
of the poor—from the smiling circle round the
burgher's evening hearth, to the solitary heath, the midnight
resting place of the belated hunter. Like the majestic
tulip-tree, once the giant of the American forest,
towered the pervading flame above all lesser interest, the
deputed tyrant sunk like a stripling beneath the vigorous
arm of manhood before it; he that had stretched
forth the hand of iron above his subject, as though men
were but created for his tyranny, he that had considered
those whom fate and the fragile wax of commission had
given a momentary sway and rule, but as the slaves of
his desires, the tools of his commands—he even in the
day of his grandeur, in the height of his power, quailed,
weak and shivering, before its advances. The investments
of office, the privileges of station granted by the
sovereign, were but as atoms in the wind—the dust of the
desert, the withered remnants of autumnal leaves before
the driving blast. The ruler found himself but as a reed,
the very breath of the people bent him to the earth—
the crafty and overbearing Sir Edmund Andross, met the
due reward of his arrogance and artful machinations, in
a deserved and unpitied imprisonment, and soon found
himself fortunate, in being allowed without scath of life or
limb, to depart from the country where he so late had
been obeyed in terror and disgust, and return to the superstitious
monarch, from whom he had derived his ill
used authority. At length after due interval, encouraged
by the boldness of this resolute and gallant conduct, the
citizen of New-York awoke to the call, which, like a trumpet
clear and shrill, sounded in a note of thunder from
the grey shores of the Atlantic, to the lakes—but it was
as the wearied lion rousing him from his slumber at the
distant echoes of the chace; for at that time, early as it
was, the seed of disunion was rooted, which hath since
flourished to the disgrace of the present day—the rich
were too proud, as now, to mingle or follow even in a
good cause with the poor—and these last were idle and
disunited; for in truth, most men are too selfish to
risk one atom of their convenience, to public safety—
there are indeed but few persons, who do not admire to
be considered as the leaders in matters of importance, and
are vastly tickled as such, at reading their name in print—
but they want all this without trouble—and thus it hath
become the custom to thrust people in the public eye,
who make a great fuss for the newspapers; and then, go
home and set by their fires. At the period in question,
the vulgar were divided, abused and misled by the senseless
arguments, and intrigues of designing knaves and busy
sharpers; who realized to their gaping listeners, the ancient
fable of the dog and the shadow; for our own eyes
have proved to us, that none fatten on the advice of these
characters, except themselves—for while they cajole
the greedy multitude with fine speeches, they, amid all
the disinterested patriotism, which is sure to be placed
uppermost in their sentiments, like froth upon the wave,
and always forms the garb of these deceivers, make out
to juggle them of every right and every gift of power,
from whence a shred may be gained.—Indeed New-York
from such causes, presents a disgraceful spectacle, for
its extent, and population, and resources—its offices of
trust and moment, are mostly held by those whose origin,
whose life, whose actions, befit them better for the gallows,
than the representatives of a majestic state—for if
by chance a man of worth attains station, a thousand
engines, mean and despicable as those who use them,
are set in play by the envious and malignant, to destroy
him, and in reality, such hath become the reputation
of the places, which are showered now alone on those
whom Cromwell hath designated as “waiters upon
providence,” the artful and corrupt office seekers of
the day, (for it is a rare and unprecedented thing to
bestow ought on honest men, who are not unblushing
dust-lickers and hypocrites) that the moral part of the
community, those who hold a pride in themselves of conscious
integrity, have almost considered it a disgrace to
succeed as incumbents—and to take the situations of
those wretches who have concealed the rags and dirt of
their true standard in society, beneath accumulations
from the national purse; or to sit as Judges after men
who sacrifice justice, their consciences—if they ever possessed
any—and their duty to honesty, “to satisfy the feelings”
of some political partisan. After this detail, the
reader will not be surprised, that while the rich, the
powerful, and those whose province, it might have been
supposed from their situations in life, it was to step forward
as leaders in times of distress, turmoil and danger, held
aloof, prudently debating the odds and chances to themselves
in case of success or defeat, and anxiously watched
the aspect of affairs, that they might not be too late
to kiss the feet of the victor, and claim a reward for services
they never performed—that there arose a champion
for the people in one Jacob Leisler; a man in the middle
order of life, though of considerable esteem, and having
a certain popularity attached to him from his descent,
from the Dutch portion of the populace—yet no being
(says history) could be more ill adapted to conduct and
guide a bold and hazardous enterprise, wherein aught of
management, mind or resolution, were required—his fortune
was moderate, and he was destitute of every
qualification that could gain him adherents; for however
great his personal courage, he was proverbially ignorant,
and dependant on the guidance of others—yet with all
these imperfections, he succeeded in his most extraordinary
attempt of overthrowing the established government
of greater part of the colony—for fired at the same time
by ambition of power, and inflamed by revenge—for during
the administration of Andross in the province, he had
been an object of persecution, from his turbulence of spirit
to the government—he formed the perilous design of seizing
the city for the aspiring William, who was now contending
for the throne of his father-in-law. To accomplish
this, Leisler, urged to haste by the success of the
eastern country, and aided by one Milbourne, an Englishman
related to him by marriage, brought over and armed
in his league, a small body of citizens, who had been
enrolled under his command, for the purpose of patroling
at night through the different out wards and skirts of the
town. At the head of these, by a sudden and unexpected
attack, he surprised the royal garrison who protected the
fort—the troops were easily overcome, making but a
slight defence, and without difficulty submitted to the
views of the insurgents, who, by this blow, found themselves
undisputed masters of the counties of New-York
and East Chester. Accordingly, they lowered the standard
of the Stuarts, and administered the oath of allegiance
to their Protestant successor:—and at the same
time, taking advantage of the ambiguous wording of a
despatch that arrived from England, Leisler assumed to
himself the title of Lieutenant Governor, and instituted a
council, the regular heads of authority having sought safety
in flight; in the meanwhile he sent home an agent to
London, who might early on the succession of the Stadtholder,
claim the expected rewards and favours due to
the signal devotion that he had shown to his cause. But
Leisler's new dignity sat uneasy on him—it has been
often seen that a rise to unbounded power, from comparative
insignificance and dependence, is sure to bring
on a man's destruction—it is not alone that he may act
indiscreetly, and bear with unbecoming pride his new
gotten consequence—yet he has more to fear from those
whom he trusts—from those whom he heaps his friendship
on, his partisans, than the open hostility of his foes; the
flower that grows to perfection in a day, veins not the
earth with its roots—so on the very foundation on which
he hath risen, he will totter.—The investiture of supreme
authority over the province, and the prospect of the
new king's approbation of his proceedings, could not but
excite the jealousy of those who had not joined in the
revolution, and hence, together with the impossibility to
satisfy the insatiable demands of needy adherents, arose
the aversion which was shown to the man and his measures
by many individuals; however, finding it in vain at
first to stem the current of Leisler's influence, Nicholas
Bayard and Van Kortlandt, the late mayor of the city, who
were the leaders of the opposition, retired hastily to Beverwyck,
which is now called Albany, and urged the
rulers of that city to refuse communication with the
revolutionists, and with such industrious hatred and animosity,
fomented the misunderstanding, that the affairs
of the public became greatly embarrassed. The safety
of the country itself, was also extremely endangered by
the ill will and vexatious conduct of the rival parties,
who, occupied with their own jarring, respectively sought
to injure each other, until they came to open rupture of
arms—of course, to this internal enemy of civil war, was
sacrificed the defences necessary by the convulsions of
the times, against a formidable and foreign adversary;
for while the one was inebriated by new and unaccustomed
greatness, and the other could not brook, from their
former standing, submission to a man mean in his abilities,
and inferior in degree, the drum was sounding,
and the sword and spear were glittering on the frontiers.
France had taken the part of the dethroned and
exiled sovereign, and hostilities had commenced against
England:—an officer of courage and talent, (the Count
De Frontenac,) well acquainted with the situation of
the disturbed and distracted province, held the command
of the Canadas; who, with an unceasing industry, seeking
to add to the distress of the English, early in the
contest; contrived to stir up the savages against them;
for angered by numerous wrongs, they were ever ready
to wreak deserved vengeance on the white oppressors
of their fathers; all was in alarm—the tomahawk and
scalping knife found numerous victims, and the lily of
the Bourbons was crimsoned in blood. At the same
period, the broad seas were swarmed with rovers of the
most desperate character, whose whole thirst seemed
rapine and cruelty; and whose boldness and temerity
was much augmented, by the apparent insufficiency of
the authorities to suppress them:—scarce a sail could
plough the waters, without her decks becoming the stage
of slaughter and of robbery—the trade of the Indian
islands and the Spanish main, was nearly destroyed; and
such was the audacity of this maritime banditti, that
neither disparity of force daunted, nor laws human or
divine, restrained them from the most wicked and savage
atrocities. The numerous inlets and coves of shallow
water, where they could neither be pursued or attacked
to advantage, that line the Long Island and the entrances
of the New-York harbour, afforded these desperadoes
convenient concealment and lurking places for depositing
their plunder, or hiding their swift craft, when chaced by
a superior force, or while watching the departure of some
outward bound trader, who, from its rich cargo, was
worthy of making prize. The city itself, gave by its countenance
to the buccaneers, an excellent market for the
disposal of the booty accumulated by their bloody expeditions—it
is of indifference to most persons, so as they
gain by the bargain, how, or by what deed, he of whom
they purchased, became an owner; the honest winkelier
cared not, so as he could dispose of them at three
times the rate of cost, to some vain and greedy dame—that
the Spanish silk, the tissue, or the brocade, that adorned
his shelves, were not yet dry of the gore of their last
wearers,—the klopliediew, as he gloated over treasures
of ingots and golden moidores that now swelled his coffers,
and as his daughter simpered as she hung to the
yellow beads that enchained her neck, the glittering
cross of silver that had adorned the soft bosom of some
Peruvian beauty, gave not a thought of the raging ball
that had been ruthlessly buried in the hearts of the unfortunates
who had once delighted in their possession.
So far indeed did the evil extend, and such was the
weakness of the laws, which have not as yet been improved—that
as at present, the murderer, the robber and
the rogue, walked the streets without fear of punishment,
if they had but wealth, or were but sticklers to a
party—for justice is not made for these; and many of
the principal inhabitants, were known to be in open connexion
with this illicit trade. Every retailer of the laws,
was, as now, fearful of offending some powerful character,
or a sputtering and noisy partisan; and therefore, though
edict after edict was promulgated, the penalties were
scarcely enforced—for they were but as Corporation ordinances—mere
dead letters—to be left on the shelf as
soon as enacted, hereafter for the wonder of the antiquary[11]
—affording no good, except to the printer or the paper
maker, whose profits never have been known to make a
retrenchment in a city feast. At times, I will allow, the
records commemorate the vigilance of some pettifogging
attorney, who was the king's prosecutor for the
day—who with extraordinary eagerness, and with inflexible
impartiality, had laid hold of some poor devil whom
nobody cared about, who had ignorantly sinned against
the statute, and verily skinned him to the bone in terrorem,
for the wonder of the gaping multitude—who were
always mightily pleased at such stern proofs of the unimpeachable
purity of the criminal code of the Nieuw
Nederlandts: but, mutatis mutandis, did some low mongrel,
without influence or money, presume to whisper to Mr.
attorney, that such a burgomaster had been seen smuggling
contraband goods into the Stadt, and such an echevin
was concerned in certain unlawful transactions, be
assured the affair was very differently looked upon—the
wily lawyer would find out the proof was insufficient, or
it was a matter of too little consequence to trouble the
court withal, or it was a dangerous precedent to meddle
with persons of respectability, or as it was only the
fourth complaint, that he would speak with Mynheer, that
he might be warned for the future; or that he was too
busy in waiting the result of the election,[13] and could not
spare time from public matters to attend to the business
at present, but would hereafter examine into the affair—
or that the law did not exactly provide for the offence;
and remedy against such things, in future would be had
by application to the next assembly—or in final, that it
could not be expected, that his time was to be taken up
in listening to every body's malice; that as the person
who sought redress for the people was unknown, the
whole subject was unworthy of notice, and no indictment
could be drawn without a flaw.—But to resume my
subject:—as it hath often appeared that a man can see
the mote in the eye of his neighbour, much quicker than
he can perceive the fault in his own, so it was in this
case,—for the Spanish, backed by other friendly powers,
made heavy charges to the court at Whitehall, against
these frequent aggressions on their property, which were so
openly committed by the subjects of a nation then at peace
with them, and who pretended to maintain an amicable
intercourse and relation, while they were encouraging
despoilation; all this appeared to the citizens of New-York,
as very unreasonable, and a very impertinent interference
in the government of a country, the riches of
whose inhabitants they were daily seizing on with the
strong hand; whose officers they were accustomed to insult,
in the very mouths of their cannon, with impunity;
and who, in short, they considered as their prey, from
their riches and indolence: and who, owing to circumstances,
was then the weakest power; and therefore,
without grumbling, it was thought they ought, as marks
of regard and deference for the strongest, allow themselves
to be drubbed, robbed and bearded. As is customary
on occasions of excitement, a self-formed “committee
of three,” having all things cut and dried for fear
of a mistake in the performance, called a public meeting,
in the name of all the citizens, through the medium of
the Post-boy,[14] which was the popular journal of the
day; and published by a long necked, lanthorn jawed.
Connecticut runaway schoolmaster,[15] at the extravagant
price of two coppers a number; which sum however,
when one takes in mind the talents of the editor, was
not out of the way; seeing that once a week he enlightened
his readers with an account of the secret plans and
the private thoughts of the cabinet of the great Cham
of Tartary, whom he honoured by a particular notice,
and who it was believed, was then about going to war;
and as the writer was also accustomed to cut up and
slap at a terrific rate, the policy of the king of the
Hottentots, who was very unpopular through these sharp
attacks, and no doubt must have felt extremely sore at
perusing them. However, the above mentioned “committee
of vigilance and public safety,” as they styled
themselves in the advertisement, being greatly interested—as
probably the characters most in danger should
the business become serious,—finding their call well
attended, before commencing business, proposed adjourning
the assemblage to the fields[16] —which was of course,
unanimously carried into effect; and a little man being elbowed
on the shoulders of the mob, commenced with
a weak and whining note, a very philippic—“the most
eloquent specimen of modern oratory,” as was announced
by the Post-boy next morning; the editor of which paper,
by the by, having received a corrected copy of the speech
a week before it was delivered, for publication: the diminutive
speaker, after exhausting his lungs, storming
against the audacity of the lazy and haughty dons—and
to the very top of his voice, calling on each honest man
present and absent, to oppose every attempt of governmental
proceeding; and concluding with a flowery and glowing
description of his own patriotism, and “that he was no
friend of tyrants, even before he was born,” sat down exhausted
and panting for breath, amid repeated shouts of applause
from his audience, very few of whom had heard a
word that he had said;—his silence was followed by a long
string of resolutions, flaming with determinations which
in a week were forgot; but which were all appropriate,
being ready made to suit the occasion, and brought in
the pocket of a stormy pot-bellied burgher, who read
them off in a snuffling tone, puffing and labouring at every
word, as if his entrails were coming through his
throat—and then all was adjourned by motion in order
by the chairman—every body departing “with the greatest
regularity and decorum,” not excepting a dozen ragamuffins,
who had been busied in emptying the pockets of
the attending crowd—and who, together with one or two
particular friends, who were the public thief catchers,
hand in hand retreated to the neighbouring taverns to
divide gains, and determine what would be befitting
conduct for the nation in its emergency. However,
the very great scandal brought on an English province
by this unblushing perseverance in wrong, at last
succeeded in bringing the Board of Admiralty, after various
delays, to concur in the fitting out of a private
armament—the command of which was given to one
[17] Richard Kid, who had been recommended by an ancestor
of the Livingston family, as a man who was well
acquainted with the customs, manœuvres and rendezvous
of the pirates. But Kid, in setting out on this cruise,
was moved by the same motives which guide most of
our own brawling bullies, and swearing politicians—self-interest—and
therefore soon betrayed his trust; for, like
a certain hypocritical time server, who by his shifting,
servile and corrupt conduct in office, has become as contemptible
as the crawling vermin, whom in his character
he resembles, and whose custom it hath been
as it were by instinct, to preserve a station which he has
for years disgraced—to change his party on the very last
day of an election, to that which his shrewd judgment
foreboded would be the conqueror—so that, though a
dozen principles have had their sway, it hath mattered fittle
to him—he was always among the victors. Kid eagerly
seized upon the opportunity thus fortuitously thrown in
his way, and sought to use the armament and advantage
he possessed, in the furtherance of his own purpose,—
for having burnt the frigate he commanded, he leagued
with the buccaneers; and at the period of the narration,
the commencement of which follows, his savage actions
and desperate exploits, had filled the country with horror
and amazement. To such an alarming extent had
grown the terror of his name, that the parts of the province
where it was supposed and reported that his lawless
crew used to frequent or land, either for the sake of
concealing the booty acquired by their robberies, or to
carouse after some murderous and successful expedition,
were avoided with fear and superstition, by all except
his associates, who, however, were numerous; and although
even by them he was hated for his barbarity,
yet he seldom found want of stores and assistance, when
necessitated to put in port: indeed the fear that he inspired,
not only pervaded the breasts of those whose
callings were to plough the deep and weltering seas, but
many far distant, at least in appearance, from his revenge,
dared scarcely breathe a threat: encouraged, and
hourly emboldened in his unbridled course, the hand of
justice was too weak to wield the avenging sword; formidable
and unrestrained, his audacious emissaries were spread
in every quarter of the coast, and countless were the
deeds acted, that would harrow up the soul, and chill the
blood's free flowing in the hearer's veins, at the relation:
and often when the storm from the north, howled bleak and
dismal, and swept from the trackless ocean with mournful
voice, and like a funeral dirge sung round the snug cabin
of the fisherman, its inmates would fearfully whisper,
that the spirits of the murdered had risen from their
watery graves, where they had been darkly tombed, to
shriek their curses on the pirate; such is ever the
idea of man; for there is a secret and natural abhorrence
against great crimes, instilled upon our minds from birth,
that however prosperous guilt may be for awhile, yet as
the terrible and just sentence denounces `blood will have
blood,' so a late though a sure punishment, must attend
upon the guilty, and their most hidden actions:—thus
many believe, but the ways of providence are inscrutable,
or how can we account for the evident long during
of the rogues of the day? yes, we have seen to all appearance,
men raising their fortunes on the tears of
the poor, unpunished; every stride they take to wealth,
trampling on the hearts of the unfortunate—and like the
reckless warrior, in the crowded flight of the vanquished,
spurning the prostrate body of his falling comrade,
they base the fabric of their prosperity, upon the hopeless
ruin and blasted happiness of others; and have we not
beheld the iron-hearted landlord go down to the grave,
leaving behind unto his offspring a mint of riches, gathered
by grinding and extortion?—he hath enjoyed a long
life, and ease and luxury—and round his plumed hearse,
are marshalled troops of weeping friends—and to his
burial place, the mournful pomp of sorrow and respect,
accompanies him—while, mark the reverse, the generous
noble hearted creature, whose whole soul was charity
and friendship for his species, spends his life, even as a
lingering death; want, poverty and famine, his companions;
and ends it either in the common alms-house,
the lazaret or the prison, happy if there be a roof above
him, that he die not by the way-side untended and unpitied;
and his uncoffined limbs be not cast into some
loathsome pit dug for carrion:—the one like several examples
now in view, is the great, the good, the worshipped,
the every thing, with the world; possessing its confidence
and its honours;—and the other is always a poor
mad besotted foolish fellow, whose witless brains and extravagant
courses in relieving the distressed, and allowing
every body to cheat him that pleased, never gave him
a chance to gather up a single dollar in his whole life;
and who has come to that which it was expected, since
he allowed himself to be so sadly shaved by the bro
kers, and endorsed for a friend who made it his pride,
after getting free by the act, to insult the poverty and misfortune
that he had caused.—As is the case just cited,
with the prosperous, whose slightest notice is more acceptable
than the cordial smile of the thriftless; so,
though horror and disgust followed the deeds wherein he
gained them, yet the spoils of Kid introduced themselves
into the favour, and the purchase of the good burghers of
the city; and it is even asserted by tradition, but how
veritably one knows not, that at the grand festival of St.
Nicholas, which might perhaps assimilate to a twenty-fifth
of November dinner of our own modern Corporation,
that not only the Chief Scout, but the lordly and substantial
burgomasters, and the well fed Schepens of the honest
city of Nieuw Amsterdam, or New-York, all appeared
arrayed in certain calico morning gowns, which
were adorned in lieu of bloemates, with orange trees and
singing birds: the which material, had formed part of
the cargo of a Spanish galleon which Kid had lately captured,
and openly sent into the bay,[18] consigned, as usual
in these cases to some respectable trading firm;
much in a like manner as our late uncommissioned privateer
captures of the ships of a friendly nation; and
for which an agent of the original owners had instituted
a suit of recovery before the above mentioned Scout, who
acted as Judge, together with his other municipal capacities;
and as might be expected, the said suit shortly after the
aforesaid festival of St. Nicholas, was decided peremptorily
against the Spanish merchants: from this, discerning
reader, it is evident that the custom is of singular ancient
derivation, that the “mayor, aldermen and commonalty”
of a certain large city, have, time out of mind, been in
the habit of `acceptation,' or receiving presents; which
may have a partial reference to the present fashion, of
taking a dozen bottles of excellent Madeira from each of
the wine venders in the city, before a public dinner;
none of which are returned, though the apparent purpose
was only to taste them; when it is certain to have
the mind made up determinately about the purchase,
which must perforce be from a nabob of the same side
at the last election, before the arrival of a single flask, or
the drawing of a cork; tradition hath, it is understood,
for the sake of elucidation, farther related, that ever since
the afore cited banquet of St. Nicholas, corporations have
fallen greatly in the knack of winking at all rascals, even
though they break their own last enactions; provided they
can give presents, which are in these days, read offices,
or can gratify in any way the least selfish wish of a burgomaster,
but `si populus vult decipi decipiatur.'

It is said that the country on the borders of the little
river, or rather creek, the description of which begins
this work, was a favourite haunt of the sea robber, that
there he landed after his successful piracies, and that
when time or the pursuit of fresh plunder would not permit
his lavishing his ill gotten treasures in the accustomed
debaucheries on the beach of this stream, and its wild
and desolate neighbourhood, with many superstitious ceremonies,
he was wont to bury them:—strange are the fearful
tales men tell, that to the keeping of infernal spirits
were given these mines of hidden riches, and even within
a few years past it was whispered abroad that the unearthly
guardians, which he had charged with these concealments,
by the cruel butchery of a prisoner, wandered
still true to their unhallowed task about the spot
where his gold lies yet unearthed. In these times, as it
becomes apparent, people have to fear nothing more
wicked than their own evil minds, the place hath been
less regarded, as the other portions of the island are more
closely settled; but in the days of the pirate Kid, the sole
representative of the famous town of Harlaem in the new
world, consisted of one broad long roofed cottage, which
indeed, in the consequence of its owner, might have
vied with its rival `in den bosch,'—for suiting to its lofty
pretensions, though the building was of one story, and
the eaves almost kissed the ground, yet the gable ends

soared steeply up like a pyramid, and were both ornamented
by points or stairs, in the true style of the Keysar
Graft, the Harring Vliet, and the Bompies; from the
centre of the mansion arose a sort of structure that appeared
like a pigeon house, containing one huge long door,
used for the reception of goods, and although at the top
of the edifice, was the place of transacting business, when
the occupant was so inclined—above all, mounted on a
sea of lead, sailed a small tin Dutch built boat or schuit,
which served the double purpose of a weather cock and
a ferry sign,—at least so intended, but the architect who
had taken the model of the little vessel from the best in
the town of Termunderzyl, at which place he had driven
the careful craft of a brick maker, found after its completion
that what would do in the winds of Holland was not
at all fitted for those of America, for a spanking vexatious
broad bottomed figure of one of the Dutch graces, which
filled up the poop by way of ornament, with all the obstinacy
of the sex, who seem to flourish best when most
contradictory, always swung around whenever the wind
carried the ship in one direction to that point of the compass
which was completely opposite; the sapient clay
moulder, to whom the mystery did not explain itself, after
having smoked several pipes in profound deliberation on
the failure of his plan of telling the wind, felt, however,
nowise put out, being possessed of true Dutch mettle
and considering himself another Quintin Matsys;[19] and
therefore with immense sagacity, he determined, that as
all the trouble had been taken to make it serve, it was of
no use beginning the business over anew, for the spectator,
by a very slight reversion, if ingenious enough, could
at most periods guess aright, the more easy if a Nederlander,
for he could not then be so ignorant of navigation
as not to know that his countrymen used both the stern
and the bows for the same purpose, and to the same advantage.
This saving principle of leaving things remain
in the situation they were first designed, whether right
or not, seems to be the leading maxim of modern economists,
if one might draw the conclusion from a grave body
corporate, who, whenever they calculate erroneously,
which, by the bye, unless one of their own members is
interested, is commonly in their own favour, take certain
pains that it shall not be easily remedied: for instance,
it is to be remarked, they allotted to themselves an
uncommon space of time to repay a certain wrongful assessment,
but when they, “in their wisdom,” assess the
property of others who individually cannot protract, they
do not wait to petition, but will have their demand at once,
nolens volens. However, the dwelling whose top was
thus tastefully adorned, was, to all appearance, a comfortable
domicile, which, as it snugly nestled between two
rising hillocks like an egg in the nest, seemed protected
from every danger—indeed it bore no resemblance to any
tall, gaunt, disproportioned mansion, that now casts its
clumsy shadows across the narrow lanes of the city, showing
the nature of the owner, who selfishly means to take
the jolly face of the sun from the passers by, or to astonish
the beholder with his magnificence and aspiring imagination
in erecting a wind tower, which generally repays
him for his trouble by an assignment to some relation
or friend in trust, while he pays the honest carpenter for
his labour and plan, by taking the benefit of the two-third
sweeping clause, which is receiving a full and fashionable
receipt;—☞ don't look wise reader, you are not here
thought of—yet there is a Latin saying very applicable,
`qui capit ille facit.'

Be all this as it may, the home of Sporus Vanderspeigl,
for such was the wordly designation of the occupant of
the ferry house, had been the work of years; for it was
spread out something like a crab, or its owner's hand,
which it hath been truly stated exceeded in the breadth,
the length from the wrist to the end of the fingers; but
as this tradition comes direct from the wife's side of his
family, implicit confidence should not be given to it:—

for as Sporus was a little man, he was like a small bottle
brimful of spirit tightly corked, and apt at times to make
a mighty explosion, or in other words get into a great
passion, particularly when his kitchen chimney smoked,
which like the contract built chimneys of the present day,
was very apt to cut up such capers whenever there was
any breeze abroad, and it is said, by whom it is not accurately
known, that before he removed from the city of
Nieuw Amsterdam, his vrouw having on a windy Monday
purchased at the Zmidts Vly,[20] at the extravagant rate
of four stuyvers, a fat Kalkoensche hen from a broad
mouthed Long Island negro, he was so enraged at her prodigality,
that as every honest burgher was used when the
goed vrouw went astray, he gently corrected the spendthrift
quean with the said Kalkoensche hen; but which
fact her relations, after the common fashion of all such
meddling persons, flatly deny—vilely reporting that Sporus
had basely beat the good woman with his hand; for
which atrocious slander the honest and learned Dutch
Schepen or Assistant Alderman, who in those days held
about the same dignity as those of our own times, being
equally as thick headed and consequential—though possessing
in addition a kind of authority resembling our police
magistracy—ordered, that both the party slandered,
and Jan Van Schroper and Derrick Tunesse Snedigher,
relations to the aforesaid vrouw Vanderspeigl, the slanderers,
should pay fifty schellings to the poor; and further,
that Garret Van Hoorn, the `konstabel,' should discharge
the costs:—now though no reasonable creature
will deny the uprightness and profundity evinced by this
decision—and that all parties should be punished for the
disturbance of the peace, and wilful annoyance of the calm
and quiet of the tranquil province of Nieuw Nederlandt—
yet who could suppose that the villanous breath of slander
would have dared to whisper that the worthy and immaculate
Schepen deposited the mulct in an inner drawer
of his lessenaar; and being plagued with a shortness of
memory, peculiarly in matters of this kind, he neglected to
render in his general monthly return to the vroedschap,
the afore-mentioned sum of fifty schellings;—nevertheless,
though true, this might have been an accident, for it is now
no uncommon thing for a public officer to become a defaulter
to a round amount, and then, on account of the hardness
of his case, apply to government to let him clear of debt,
giving as a reason that he does not know what has become
of the money. However, from the transaction just
detailed, the patient magistrate acquired the surname of
den Springer, or the Hopper, owing to the badness of
his eyesight, which forced him to jump over the afore-mentioned
item of fifty schellings.

In the present instance Sporus seemed determined not
to be outdone by any Dutch farmer in the convenience
and costliness of his tenement, and he was therefore, while
debating the design, extremely particular, slow, and cautious,
as all wise Dutchmen are invariably in affairs of moment
and emergency; which is no doubt the reason why
their ideas are so weighty and profound; for like city
feasts—great thoughts are not to be digested in a minute,
and, as the adage teaches, Rome was not built in a day;
so it might be repeated of the residence of this Hollander
—for it cost him four years of smoking, planning, and reflection
to begin the structure, two more to lay the foundation,
and twice that time ere the first apartment, which
was the pronk room, was finished to his liking. Do not
consider, expeditious reader, that all this period was
spent in projecting and finishing off any thing like the
tawdry gingerbread finery of one of the four story barns,
which are the unrivalled specimens of the improved architecture
of these days—no, Sporus was a man of prudence,
and his mind and desires were only bent on obtaining a
modest Dutchman's comfort; and indeed though all the
materials were of the best, the only extravagance known
in the building, and that was the boast and pride of Mynheer's
heart, was the monstrous width of the chimney
place—whose great mantel piece jutted boldly from the
wall like the blackened jaw of some huge and cavernous
den, while each side was variegated with neat glazed
china tiles, which at the enormous cost of a stuyver a
piece, had been imported from the manufactory at Rotterdam;

and whereon was delineated in a masterly manner
a whole Bible history—the life of the patriarch Joseph
and the dreams of Pharaoh, which however were interpreted
after the artist's own fashion, for not having an
ox as a model at hand, he had, in the frenzy of the moment,
by an excusable graphic license, made both lean
and fat kine resemble the acute quadruped called the
jackass, as near as any other animal in creation, although
at the same time he could not have been accused of violating
the commandment of Scripture, as it would have
been difficult to have ascertained an exact similitude of
the creatures figured, in earth, air, or in any other
element. As soon as the exterior of the building was
completed, Sprous moved bag and baggage into the
mansion, and that all his valuables might be secured from
spoilers, which commonly appeared in those times in the
shapes of thieving Indians or pilfering and wandering
pedlars from the New England provinces—who under
the name of trading, but in reality for the sake of sharping,
inundated the country of the inactive and ease loving
Meinheers, elbowing them out of their quiet and cheating
them out of their very eyes, much in the same manner
as in these latter years have emigrated from the same
part those brazen herds of adventurers—most of whom
first come begging as itinerant preachers and schoolmasters,
without any other qualifications than conceited and
assured impudence, ready for any employment that presents,
they push themselves in the crowd, jostling on
one side honest and better men, (for it is no hard matter
for rogues to tread down virtue) and soon they either transform
themselves for the sake of novelty as well as bread,
to crazy political journalists—characters which certainly
are arduous ones, as they want true adepts in slander,
untruth, and hypocrisy, places which are to be only filled
by such as will lick, dog like, the feet of a rascal in authority,
or care not how they bring themselves to be despised,
contemned, and disgraced;—or ambitious of a
better standing as speculators, they start into the world
usurping the desk of the merchant, lacking honour, honesty,
and name—without any other capital than the low
and despicable cunning of their nature, which is ready
ever to seize on petty, dishonourable advantages—without
any other credit than an inherent knavery, a quick and palpable
tongue, and a lying and specious appearance can obtain
for them. Perhaps as much for the sake of comfort
and convenience, as that all might be under his own observation,
as it is well known there is nothing like the
master's looking to what is going on in his house—and as
the careful Nederlander did not often desire to extend
either his imagination or his exercise he introduced under
the same roof and within the same enclosure, most
of his moveable property—the principal items consisting
of his wife and kind, his negro, his tobacco pipe, his
snickersnee, his hogs,[21] his flask of Hollandts, his goats,[22]
(in the raising of which animals he hugely delighted,) his
`kist' of guilders, together with an old spavined, wind
dried blind mare, and a lean, lank, bare ribbed skeleton of
a snarling mastiff; for with all the slackness of movement
that Vanderspeigl was famous for, he had by some
means or other amassed considerable wealth; and as he
was too lazy to seek fortune, it really seemed as if the
fickle divinity determining that he should not be indifferent
about her embraces, had therefore with open arms
ran to him, for she appears to have her humours like all
females, and the best way oftentimes to obtain her favours
is to treat her with indifference, and not to trouble
one's head about her; now in this the prudence and
foresight of Sporus cannot be too much commemorated;
and indeed he was not only worth money, but he knew
how to keep it; he was not one of those eager, avaricious
hazarders, who anxious to make themselves rich or to
add to that which was already an independence, would
jeopardise all upon one single chance—leaving their happiness
or destruction to the changing of a breeze:—for
once, being offered by old Conraedt Goelet, a tight,
crabbed dealing Nieuw Amsterdamer—but who was
something given to dress, a whole tract of woodland
situated in the neighbourhood of Spring Garden and the
Holy Ground,[23] in exchange for a beaver hat, whose
fashion was the latest worn in the Hague—Vanderspeigl,
who well knew he could sell an article of such demand
for at least ten stuyvers, could not help wondering at such
a foolish idea as that Goelet could suppose he was to be
taken in that way—so after hearing patiently all the fine
arguments that were used to induce him to close the
bargain, he shook his head in a knowing manner, and
placing his finger by the side of his nose he only answered
“dat Meinheer Goelet dont drick beobles mit hish
dalking out vrom dere geldt.” As may be expected from
such amazing shrewdness and knowledge of the world,
Sporus might have been called in the expressive idiom of
the moderns a warm man; and doubtless, had banks been
chartered at so early a period, judging by the great and
efficient personages of this era concerned in the controlling
of such institutions, Meinheer Sporus Vanderspeigl
would have been a capital character for the president of
one; for as he was a cunning man with all his phlegm, he
would have taken precious care to feather his own nest,
though the public suffered thereby;—and in truth who
are the public, every body?—then surely it is a safe
maxim, that being such it cannot feel a loss or injury like
an individual; it does not therefore surprise that so many
shave the every body for a private advantage; and besides
all must perceive the many cannot be harmed by
that which is taken to enrich a single person.

Still with all that he was blessed, Vanderspeigl had to
contend with foul breaths and evil tongues. Never have
men congregated together, no matter in how small a portion,
but what they have envied each other, and sought to
destroy that which they themselves were unworthy of and
unable to attain; what I have not, none other shall have, is
the maxim under which most act; and whence hath arisen
so much sorrow, misery and destruction: scandal, with its
cold and blighting wing, freighted with self swoln intelligence,
was busy with his fame; and there were whispered
hard stories about the guilders that this Dutch owner
of Harlaem Ferry had collected in the safe depository of
his home—and much was said of a great chest which had
been seen in the Hollander's house, and which as reported
he watched with unceasing caution; now there was
nobody who could tell who had a glimpse of this mystery,
or give an account in the least connected—yet all agreed
that the chest, whatever was in it or whatever it was—if
indeed after all it was a chest—had not been fairly come
by; and then the speakers would shrug their shoulders and
wofully turn up their eyes in an awful and meaning manner.
Thus from the busy brains and quicker mouths of
jealous knaves or fools is the peace of even the innocent
destroyed; for every communication that harmeth another,
is given to all except the object of the rumour—
and like the flames from lightning borne that in the dried
forest rages swifter than wind, it hurries on, gathering in
its blasting flight new vigour—thus are our lives a torment—thus
by insidious lies are we pierced to the marrow—and
like one stabbed by some coward bravo in the
back, we see not the arm that darts the blow, and die
unable to avenge—for the victim is the last to know the
extent of the calumny:—is not this persecution worse
than the sword or the axe? doth it not blast the brain
and sear the heart with hopeless misery?—truly it turneth
our souls to gall and bitterness, and man becomes
companionless, a phantom among his fellows, and moves
through life solitary, suspicious, and hating, like a lonely

and stormy cloud that blots the visage of a summer
heaven. Indeed, many were the mischief-fraught tales
told in all the pride of conscious importance by those notable
tea-table housewife gossips, whose time is passed in
the busy and saving duty of looking after every body's affairs
except their own, that were not much to the credit
of the honest scouw steerer:—there were dark hints of
pirates—of murdered travellers—such as a certain person
on a certain gloomy night stopping at the ferry house and
asking for a night's lodgings, and the certain person being
never seen to depart.

Whether it be that sudden accumulation of wealth
alone creates envy and desire, or it is engrafted in the
very nature of humanity to pluck a hole in the garment
of a fellow creature who is not even a stumbling stone in
our path of prosperity, cannot be solved; but while Sporus
(and such had been the case) could not enumerate
more than one pair of `broeks' in his wardrobe, and his
home was nothing but a miserable hovel of rude unplaned
logs, scantily thatched with bark, whose only aperture
besides the low entrance was a small hole in the roof,
which admitted faintly the light of the heavens, and afforded
a void for the smoke—then there was none who
thought him worthy scarce of a passing word, for he was
looked upon as one of those wretched outcasts who in
the freaks of unpropitious fate had been cast upon this
world of wo as a very model of misery—but now the picture
was reversed, things were entirely changed, and
though the good dames who have been mentioned were
never weary behind his back as has been stated, at denouncing
him “a gruff, cross creature, who knew more of
some things than he should do for his conscience sake,”
yet in his presence, no man in the whole island of Manathan
was more belarded and beflowered with compliments
—the Dutch language itself was wasted and exhausted
in culling sentences fruitful in respect, and instead of
plain Sporus as it had been, “Mynheer Sporus Vanderspeigl,”
and “hoe vaart u Mynheer,” were now the current
pass words. Had it been in the present day that
this was enacted, Sporus would certainly have stood an

excellent chance for being elected a congressman, and
probably a governor, for from a natural taciturnity he was
much averse to speaking, which would have looked very
wise and sapient, and as long as it did not interfere with
his own interest, he doubtless would have `drout broper'
to vote always as his constituents directed, particularly
when on the strongest side, and by this means, placing
honour and virtue out of the question, he would have
been long able to keep his place, which is now the only
aim of a politician—and though one would suppose it no
easy matter to humour the whims of the crowd, yet the
practice and improvement of the times have reduced it
to a simple maxim;—take care of yourself, get all you
can, and do all you can for those who elected you; which
does not mean the multitude, but a certain intriguing few,
the demagogues of caucus[24] nomination, to whom both
the people and their representatives are but tools, and
with whom no honest man can thrive. But Mynheer
Vanderspeigl was born a philosopher—he heard little and
cared less what the world (which expressive word usually
includes no more than the circle of one's immediate acquaintances,)
said of him—and that which would have
fairly turned the brain of another, scarcely disturbed his
accustomed quietude, or roused him more than a summer
zephyr would the sluggard waters of the Zuyder Zee.
Indeed he was a person of experience—early he had left
behind him the miserable and comfortless hut, and wandered
unpitied away—to what course not even the sharpest
guesser could imagine:—time rolled by and had
nearly obliterated his memory, for the poor and miserable
are soon forgotten—few are the kind remembrancers
that recall with pleasure or with pity that they have once
been—No! to them the only words that speak their ha
ving existed are, “poor fellow, I am glad he is out of his
misery;” probably from the very lips that selfishly had
hastened the fate they thus commemorate; truly, there
are not many who will believe that the poor, the sick, and
the unfortunate have as fair a claim to life and the sovereignty
which man holds on earth, as the most rich and
powerful that breathe the wanton airs of heaven. However,
as most strange and extraordinary things have happened,
so the eyes of the burghers of Nieuw Amsterdam
lightened as it were of a sudden, on a well filled winkel
that occupied the upper story or rather garret of the
weduwe Yokupminshe Van Schaik's new house, in the
pleasant straat called der Mayhden Paetje,[25] or the virgin's
path—a street then as now, one of the most fashionable
for ladies to saunter in, and spend their money out
of mere pastime, under the name of shopping—a word
which carries with it the meaning of bargains, gained by
a whole day's waste of time—and necessary purchases,
which were only necessary for the salesman to get rid of;
but besides this for business, the Mayhden Paetje had
other advantages, as it was the most public place of resort
in the mighty stadt of Nieuw Amsterdam, as the very
first young women of the place, after milking the cows on
a summer afternoon, walked up its crooked paths for the
sake of taking an airing and hearing the love sighed tales
of the gallant Mynheers. In the long door of the loft
aforesaid on such occasions could be distinguished sundry
big-bellied Flemish jars, on which might be plainly read
in splendid letters of Dutch mettle the delightful words of
der goold water and der zilver water; and there too, enveloped
in the smoke of his pipe, might be observed the
master of these liquids, the lofty Mynheer Sporus Vanderspeigl,
contentedly viewing in the looking-glasses[26] on
the outside of his dwelling all that passed by—or laughing
as he listened to the merry jokes of his buxom landlady.
As things moved on, aided by considerable custom
and close and economical living, the industrious Nederlandter
was enabled to shut up shop; not in the modern
fashion by breaking at full credit, and leaving the unfortunate
creditors to whistle for their demands, and then
setting up a carriage—but in a strait forward strict Dutchman-like
manner, paying and being paid; so having closed
his affairs and wound up his business, Vanderspeigl (for
the heart even though hardened turneth fondly with the affection
of a child for its mother, to the green spot of earth
whereon in youth we gamboled,) once more hastened to
seat himself by the side of his native river, determined to
grow fat on Esopus beer, to smoke his pipe in peace, and
to cultivate to his heart's content, sun flowers, holly
halks and cabbages. But alas! how short sighted are
human plans of happiness—how have the most knowing
been deceived,—for attracted by the seeming ever cheerful
temper of dame Van Schaik—her merry chatting and
her gleesome jokes—and then too what Dutchman of susceptibility
could behold without emotion the forlorn state
in which the weduwe dwelt in her new house of the best
Holland brick, without wishing to console her in her loneliness—and
then too, to think what an enticing hand she
was at pickling cucumbers, smoking red herrings, drying
peaches, potting preserves, and tossing slapjacks—
and then to behold her neatness as she overlooked the
scrubbing of the side walks of her dwelling, and sanded
the white floor of the zaal, carefully marking out
pretty tasteful Dutch figures on the boards—and then
too, to listen to the spiteful jingle of that great bunch of
keys that adorned her side, and know of the flask of ancient
genever, of precious delft, and of cracked china
milk pots, that paraded the ample shelves of the cupboard;—considering
these moving circumstances, where is
there a man who boasts the least Holland spirit but might
be led astray; and is it to be wondered at that wisdom
itself was triumphed over by such charms?—but alas, it
is useless—a mere waste of time which is fleeting and
precious, to sum up any more evils when the understand
ing reader is informed, that this miserable little Dutchman
was involved in the utmost trouble, with all his
riches and contentment—he had taken a wife; so it
was—not all the phlegm which the capacious stomach of
Vanderspeigl contained was able to keep his rib in subjection,
or all the weight and power of his broad hand to
allay her “skipping spirit” as the poet terms it:—not
even the pride of the burgher's return to his former
home—not even the goodly satisfaction of showing to the
astonished boors his new and high fashioned garb from
Nieuw Amsterdam, which had been cut by Snhyder Ketteltas
in the latest mode of the beaux of the Vyverberg
fuyten-hoft—no, though his broad and ample leathern
broeks might have vied in magnitude with a common
sized beer barrel—though his flat shoes bore as sharp a
point and glistened and shone with silver buckles, whose
broadness and brilliancy were equal to those of the Dominie
Van Niewenhyt,[27] the great pastor at Beverwyck—
though in brief his whole appearance bespoke the man of
wealth and consequence; whether it was from the fineness
of the `goud' that glittered in the large round buttons
of his colopeye, which from their hugeness might
have rather passed for plates than the necessary loops of
wearing apparel—or from the broadness of the brim that
decorated the bowl shaped hat that crowned his head—
not all these could give him a quiet house, or change his
situation one jot from being the most put out, pestered,
plagued and hen-pecked Hollander in the whole country.
The throne of his happiness was demolished—the very
seat of his comfort was destroyed—the strong hold and
citadel of his enjoyments were stormed—there gathered
no domestic peace about his hearth—but all was strange
and cheerless around him.

Although, as has been told, Sporus was a man of few
words himself, yet he was a great admirer of eloquence in
others; indeed he would have made a wonderful jury

man, for long speeches acted by way of a soporific on
him—and having this quality, he would have served to
sleep out the frothy, windy, sounding, and matterless declamations
of certain of our modern advocates, who always
take care to breathe forth sentences so very fine
and poetical that no one can understand them.—Truly,
Sporus enjoyed company, an it were only to amuse his
eyes; and he had been with exceeding honour to himself,
a useful and active member of the ancient association
of burghers who were accustomed to meet in the centre
of Coentjes Slip, under the wide spreading shade of a
lofty button-wood tree, and within sight of Dow Cregier's
sign of the Dog's head in the Porridge-pot,[28] on a bright
and shiny Sunday afternoon; for the purpose of debating
and deciding on the aspect of the times, smoking their tobacco,
and quaffing wholesome draughts of beer—and had
even smoked himself to be one of the first men among
them, though he had several doughty rivals to contend
with,—in particular, Burgomaster Wyckoof, Mynheir
Kipp, and Krygsman Van Zaandt: the first of whom
being an echevin, and a heavier man, of course it was natural
should have the advantage over him, not only in deep
and instinctive views of public matters, but in puffing and
blowing—a prerogative of great men; the second was very
near his equal in wisdom; but then the last being a tall,
straight, fighting character, could beat all hollow at a story,
—and easily run a-head in shuffle-board, nine pins, quoits,
cock and hens, and dominoes; in all of which games and
manly exercises, his descendants have been most wonderfully
proficient, owing doubtless to their inheriting his
scientific and military attainments. Of all these instructive
amusements and improving companions, Vanderspeigl
was now deprived; he had never dreamt of their
not being an estaminet at Harlæm—and when the first
novelty of his landhuis was passed away, and when he
had sufficiently admired the fiery visages of his marigolds
and the huge jolly faces of his sunflowers, and was somewhat
wearied at the scarce ever ceasing music of the bullfrog
and the cat-bird, and had become accustomed once
again to all such rustic melodies and comforts—he was surprised
and awe-struck to find that the shrill and harsh
notes of his loving spouse predominated, and kept his ears
busy, and his household in a clatter and confusion the whole
day long. As is customary with most husbands in his
desperate and melancholy situation, he became dogged,
sullen, and weary of the combat, in which as he grew
fainter, the more severely he was urged by his opponent;
and as might be expected from such matters, he shortly
gave in to his wife—who was one of those damsels who
knew no modesty in triumph, but pushed her conquest
to the utmost with a high and tyrant hand. Whether
from this or not, it is impossible to ascertain; yet on settling
in their neighbourhood, Vanderspeigl on his part
avoided the dwellers of East Chester as much as they
had formerly shunned him, and though the goed vrouws
made frequent attempts at sociability with his dame, yet
as she was possessed of one of those save-all dispositions
(and which was also in unison with her lord and master,
as the world would style him) that characterize many of
the hospitable ladies of the present century,—she soon
taught them, though with perfect high-dutch politeness,
that as she was lineally descended from a hoogduisch
family of Amsterdam in the Low Countries, her father
having been a skipper on the Amstraccan canal, (and by
the by, of this parental dignity she often reminded Mienheer
to his cost) she could not condescend to encourage
an intimacy with persons, who, if they had been aboard
of her father's trekschuit, would scarce have been allowed
to look at the roef; and who knew nothing of the accomplished
civilities of the beauties who frequent the
Cingel; it was soon therefore discovered that neither oley
koeks, katrinshe or smoked sausages, were to be feasted
on by them at Vanderspeigl's—and this added, in all probability,
to sharpen the wits of the disappointed masticators
against the insensible ferry owner; as soon after offence
had been taken, it was noticed (for when women are determined
to find out something ill, they are lynx-eyed,
and far beyond the watchfulness of men) that Sporus,
with all his guilders, was but a paltry miserly nasty little
fellow; and having laid down this broad foundation
of character, it became no hard task to raise a more
certain structure: nor was the poor man's wife suffered
to pass without reputation, for Vrauw Clopper, who was
a shrewd knowing woman, and always just in her strictures,
thought it hard that he, abused creature, should
bear all the blame, when he merely deserved a small
portion,—and therefore, to put the saddle on the right
horse, she gave the dame of Barent Fonda a morning
call,—and in the tide of important converse, she ventured
to hint that she was convinced that Sporus, (unfortunate
being,) bad as he was, would never have been so
outrageously mean, were it not for his helpmate—who
without mincing matters—and this the emphatic lady assured
her hearers, she did not mind telling the person of
whom she was discoursing, to her very teeth; (of which,
nevertheless, she took prudent care, as she was no promoter
of mischief) that she was a low, spiteful, pride-becrazed
wretch—who would one day live to know her
betters; for it was a true proverb, that those who ride
a high horse, must take care they have not a sad fall.
From this situation of things, it is not to be wondered at,
that, what otherwise might have been considered a mere
whim, was now metamorphosed into a real peccadillo:
and it was very earnestly descanted on, that our Dutchman
was seldom or ever in the habit of attending his
family (though Vrauw Yockupminshie was extremely
devout, pious and sincere, and in all spiritual things mightily
godly given) either to the neighbouring conventicle
of master Baregrace Trebletext, or to the high Hollandsche
sermons of Dominie Van Gieson; which he
snuffled forth weekly out of a huge and mighty book,
bound in parchment splendidly stamped, with thick brass
clasps, and other brazen ornaments; the whole of which
had been manufactured at Leyden, at the sign of De Ruyter's
Head; and which, from its ponderous weight and
compactness, was a most awful specimen of antique superiority,
and the flimsiness of all modern publications:
and it was further reported about this persecuted Nederlander,
that when questioned—however, during the absence
of his wife,—on those subjects which most pertain
to the good opinion of the world, (though you be a great
rogue otherwise) charity in public and church going,
that he would ruefully, at the interruption, take his long
pipe from his mouth, and after deliberately clearing his
throat and puffing away the smoke from his nose, which
rose in volumes from his lungs, would answer with rapidity;
for as has been related, he was prone to slowness
in action, and by no means garrulous, yet he delivered
quickly whatever few words he chose to honour his hearers
with. “Mein got—got tam!—would u hab ik von
breacher? Ik vill hab none of dien zottigheid—dien
nonzensh—de breaching be vrouws wark—vivers wark—
op myn ziel! Ik hab der vrouws breaching t'huis van
den ogtend tot den avond—got tam! vrom der buttoning
ob myn broek dill myn eysh are closhd—mein got!”

It is perhaps less to be wondered at, from the forced
solitude of his life, and that, as must be perceived, he
was withal, much addicted to the unrighteous vice of
interlarding his conversation with divers metaphors and
vivid illustrations, which the gued wives set down as
rank staring oaths, these numerous, disagreeable, disadvantageous
and tough rumours, remained uncontradicted
in circulation; nor was Sporus a person disposed to stop
their progress; for they were of no moment to him; they
neither sickened him, nor took away his daily food: he
consumed his allowance with as hearty a stomach, as
though no one troubled themselves about him: and he
could shrug his shoulders with all people's talking: still
he had sufficient to employ the brief space, he exercised
his mind and his tongue at home, with a stirring
wife and a thriving farm: for while the former filled his
house with a whole short-legged tribe of chubby clumsy
Dutch urchins, with bright and pleasure dancing eyes
and rosy cheeks, that vied with the cherry ere it burst
in its summer ripeness, and who with their loud and

cheerful halloos as they sportive gambolled round his
hearth with hose scarce gartered, drove away the little
silence that their `moeders taal' might be pleased to allow
him; the latter ever greeted his sight with increasing
stores; on his domain, the sweet sad warbling of the
reaper's voice, floated through long fields fresh and beautiful
with luxuriant ripeness: here the tender buckwheat's
gay and snowy fruit, shook to the gentle southern breeze,
like the white tops of a turbaned host; there the yellow
beard of the Indian corn, glistened to the sun like threads
of brightest amber, or sparkling nets of gold that form
the silk-worm's summer palace, and many a gallant drake
gave amorous call to his speckled mate on the blue waters
that softly glided in the front of his cheerful mansion,
and though `silently across the aspect of terrestrial
things, a chilling change had pennoned its wide flight,'
and the hoarse winds raved, and the clouds hung heavy
o'er the unsheltered earth, while the cold winter's ice
covered his grounds, and the white snow piled itself
before his door; yet rich stores of grain filled his ample
barns, and within his dwelling the crackling log sent
forth its life sustaining warmth; season after season,
seemed merely to revolve within the circle of unending
time—adding to his coffers and extending his comforts:
could then unhappiness disturb him? day followed
day to him with scarce a change; he possessed all; that
all wherein is comprised the ideal contentment and enjoyment
of this world—wealth!—no matter how gained,
how accumulated—it is still “the high imperial type of
this earth's glory;” and he that hath its sway, as is daily
proved beyond contradiction, holds a shield invulnerable;
against whose brazen breast, the breath of fame, the
giant strength of justice, equal with the poisoned dart of
envy, wither hurtless as a reed slung by the arm of infancy:—but
by this time, the reader must be impatient for
a more intimate acquaintance with the Hollander, than
mere description; he must therefore be referred to the
succeeding section, with which the story whereon this
history treats, is more properly commenced.